fak3shion

san francisco, style, fashion, travel, lifestyle curated by Ariel Tzu-Chi

Fashion is about projecting where you're going in life.

Therefore, life is fashion, fashion is style.

That's the lifestyle I am producing. 
 

風尚是一種生活品味的投射

因此生活即是風尚,風尚便是品味

這就是我想實踐的生活方式

Always Elsewhere...


So, where do I even begin? Moving away from the States was one of the most difficult decisions I have ever made in my life. Many reasons could be told; they're no secrets but I'd rather keep it unpublished. I was in a very bad shape so that's why I did it. Simply say I was approaching dissolutions. And when I'm in the wrong, I wish to do the right thing even if it'd put me in misery. Though I didn't wanna leave but I need to move forward; however small the step is going to be, any step forward is a step forward. It’s doing nothing that’s the enemy. I chose leaving to limit the mental damage. I can't fight the process but I must find ways to soften the blow.

I went on a trip to Europe before headed East. I needed a pause to encompass my life, to make strides again. And I am here to share you a gander of my log.

一箱箱,將這些年一個人在國外的日子,摺疊裝封,在雙層厚板的紙箱裡,用膠帶狠狠緊緊的封起了。

終於好好靜下來整理過去幾個月的思緒。搬離居住多年的美國,是我人生中最困難的決定。理由很多,但是想要公開的,只有「決定」本身。不想離開,但是還是選擇這麼做,因為知道這樣做是會把傷害降到最低的決定。如果知道了哪裡有問題,就要想辦法解決,得過且過只會讓生命持續毀壞。再小的改變,都是改變。

回家之前,在歐洲待了一陣子,我需要這個暫停,好好尋找方向,好好重新振作。


/ First Stop /

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TIJUANA, MEXICO

The arrival in Mexico was a little bumpy. Mexico was the first country that Massimo and I traveled together and we've already been through so much - physically and emotionally. We were in a deep predicament but everything turned out fine eventually. 

Living in San Francisco for so many years, I've always enjoyed the encounters with Mexican culture. Checking out Mexico is definitely a must do before leaving the US and now it seems to be the high time. I wanted to taste the authentic tastes; I wanted to see all the vivd colors and patterns. And it turned out, all the color combinations, handwritten types, street vendor heat... all and all are simply fascinating, just like how I imagined it. It was a very short and bittersweet stay.

在墨西哥短短的幾天經歷的事情,比劇情還誇張。第一次一起旅行,就一起度過了許多情緒上、情境上、和環境上的起伏。不過一切終究是沒事了。

在舊金山這個擁有許多拉丁裔移民的城市住了那麼久,一直很想親身體驗一下這個城市,想試試道地的路邊攤販,想見見這個民族的色彩與圖樣,想過過那裡的日子。所以我就去了。雖然只短暫地停留,卻帶走很多故事。


/ Home for a Month /

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Jesolo,Venezia

As most may know already, Italian vibe is healing; but obviously I was with the right person whom showed me the true Italian style in its entirety. I was lucky. What I love so much about Italy is its stillness and ability to influence - it slowly gets into your heart like breathing air. 

The most striking element about Italian food is, it's direct and expressive - just like its language. The language you speak determines how you think and it affects how you see and create everything. In the eye and the mouth of Italians, the world does not turn on the style of a dinner, it's about the essence of it - the ingredients. They're fresh and simple, but they're not feeble at all. I've experienced how food should be presented as pleasant and delightful, but not superfluous. They may overload you with the delicacies but not the price. "Buon Appetito!" and that is all they really cared about. 

義大利的習氣充滿治癒的能力。去過義大利的人,很難不愛上這裡。我喜歡這個國度那種寬闊平靜卻充滿影響力的風景,像空氣灌進心臟一樣,緩緩的充氣。

義大利菜是個飄洋過海後被過度吹捧的料理。在義大利的每天體驗到真正的料理重要的是食材,和料理的心態,就連再簡單的料理也會用上精挑細選的蔬果和橄欖油。那些諾大的盤子裡承裝著萎縮的份量,調上荒謬的價格並宣稱高級烹調的料理對他們來說是個笑話。真正的義大利料理是不講究排場的,開心的吃吧。


/ Lido /

Living by the seaside resort town, my everyday life has consisted of one regulation: I'm either at the beach, or on my way to the beach. Reviewing these photos I can still smell the saltiness, feel the coarse beneath my feet, and the sand in my hair...

一個月來,我不是在海邊,就是在去海邊的路上。曬黑了,可是心情亮了。彷彿還感受的到空氣裡閒閒的細沙,赤燙著腳,還有髮絲裡的粗糙鹽分。


/ Venetian Palette /

Never been so spellbound by bright and vivd colors until I step foot into this town. My emotional needs have been fully subdued by the conscious effort of the artifacts here.

無可自拔的愛上這裡的色彩學。某種程度上,情緒裡某些需要被撫摸的角落也被填滿了。


 "Easy Win"

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Venice, Italy

On our last transitional flight from Paris to Venice, a lady who sat at the front row of us asked Massimo whether this is my first time visiting Venice. After she received 'yes' as the answer, she smiled and said, 'well, that's an easy-win for you right?' to him, and we all laughed. That's right, Venice is a magical city. She takes your heart away so effortlessly that you don't even feel the pain. Same as all the people, the architecture, and the air here, so natural and kind-seeming.

I'd dare to say, when in Italy, I experienced what does it mean to have a good life - it is when you assume nothing. 

威尼斯是個很容易就愛上的城市。即便是見過世界多種面貌的我,信誓旦旦地自認不會盲目,卻也是不知不覺的心軟。在擁擠的觀光客裡閃躲,卻還是逃不掉義大利人的幽默感,語言上的直爽,還有好客的眼神與笑容。當然,那是因為我身邊有一個道地的義大利人的緣故,讓我輕鬆地體會到,好好生活的意義,就是不要太多假裝。所有的假設,在義大利人面前,都不會管用的。

To share these sediments of my journey is not only a documentation but also a sum to what has been harboring my mind. When something bad happens, there’s no point in wishing it hadn't happened. I must do what my conscience told me. All the decisions I made are bravely borne and I have to be unapologetic for it, even though it may break some others heart.

We all have different parts to play, and we must all be allowed to play them. I might sounded like I'm getting above myself by saying that but I’ll be no use to anyone if I can’t be myself. My life and my decision must be under my jurisdiction.

We all carry scars, inside or out. Whatever the decision I made was for, at lease I am matured enough to know who I am; at least I’m not fishing with no bait. (To be continued)

終於完成了這篇文章,除了記錄旅程,更多的是總和一直在腦中無法放下的思緒。當事情發生了,希望它沒有發生過是沒有意義的想法。好好的面對直覺和心底的聲音,勇敢地去做決定才是首要條件。回到台灣以後,一直很壓抑,因為我沒有辦法做我自己。為了諸多原因,也無法順從心裡的聲音去做想做的事。一瞬間,彷彿全世界的人都要來插手或過問我的人生。我身為我,卻要一直證明我是誰。當你所做的每一個決定都要不斷地遭受質疑,漸漸的,你的靈魂就會被關進籠子裡。

我們每個人,都有很多角色要扮演,不論是好人還是壞人,我們也都應該擁有扮演它的權利。而我們從來無需為了這些角色的不同而道歉。如果我不是我,我就沒有存在的意義了,因為不是「我」的這個軀體,對任何人都沒有意義。不論人生走在什麼樣的康莊道路上,都比不過帶著一個自由的靈魂值得人生這一遭。是吧?


Life Update


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It's been awhile and there's quite a bit to update so I'll skip the formalities and lay it all out. As they said, no reason to stay is a good reason to go. That's right. For a very long period of time I was in a serious state of feeling depressed and which is a very generous adjective. I felt like a free-floating life raft, lost its direction and intension, lost its purposes. I was just about exist. I was constantly scoping and scraping, trying to factor the situation but I seemed to only making matters worse. So I made the decision of leaving San Francisco. It may not be the most wanted answer for myself but finally there's an ending sight to the misery, and that's something to look forward to.

I always pride myself as a person who can make the move at the right time and I always dare to fight my way back from the rock bottom; because 'fear' is just a fugitive thought. Everything comes in a full circle; all I can do is use what feels right, and throw away the rest. Of course the way to recovery is a long journey, (and I never liked life well enough) but there's always small celebrations to add to the smaller days. And now I'll stop badgering.

開門見山地說吧,離開的日子近了。在哪聽說,沒有留下的理由就是最好的理由,於是我要走了。過了好長一段低潮,(低潮還只是一個委婉的說法)像漂浮的筏,沒有方向,也失去了意義。僅僅存在著,如此而已,那是一種很絕望的感覺。無論如何施力,也只是加速失控。關於心裡的事,很難一言而盡。

我總是認為自己是一個很敢的人,不是膽子大,也沒有多有見解,只是願意明白,害怕只是一種錯覺,而我,有頭破血流的勇氣。生命是一個循環,我僅能憑藉來自內在的韻律,去感應,去照顧好心裡的事,其他的也就不那麼要緊了。關於慢慢變好,有一段路要走,但是在那些微小細瑣的日子裡,還是有值得看見的事。



Photo: Lisa Pao (look 1) & Jaz Bradley (look 2). Post Production by yours truly


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