So, where do I even begin? Moving away from the States was one of the most difficult decisions I have ever made in my life. Many reasons could be told; they're no secrets but I'd rather keep it unpublished. I was in a very bad shape so that's why I did it. Simply say I was approaching dissolutions. And when I'm in the wrong, I wish to do the right thing even if it'd put me in misery. Though I didn't wanna leave but I need to move forward; however small the step is going to be, any step forward is a step forward. It’s doing nothing that’s the enemy. I chose leaving to limit the mental damage. I can't fight the process but I must find ways to soften the blow.
I went on a trip to Europe before headed East. I needed a pause to encompass my life, to make strides again. And I am here to share you a gander of my log.
/ First Stop /
The arrival in Mexico was a little bumpy. Mexico was the first country that Massimo and I traveled together and we've already been through so much - physically and emotionally. We were in a deep predicament but everything turned out fine eventually.
Living in San Francisco for so many years, I've always enjoyed the encounters with Mexican culture. Checking out Mexico is definitely a must do before leaving the US and now it seems to be the high time. I wanted to taste the authentic tastes; I wanted to see all the vivd colors and patterns. And it turned out, all the color combinations, handwritten types, street vendor heat... all and all are simply fascinating, just like how I imagined it. It was a very short and bittersweet stay.
/ Home for a Month /
As most may know already, Italian vibe is healing; but obviously I was with the right person whom showed me the true Italian style in its entirety. I was lucky. What I love so much about Italy is its stillness and ability to influence - it slowly gets into your heart like breathing air.
The most striking element about Italian food is, it's direct and expressive - just like its language. The language you speak determines how you think and it affects how you see and create everything. In the eye and the mouth of Italians, the world does not turn on the style of a dinner, it's about the essence of it - the ingredients. They're fresh and simple, but they're not feeble at all. I've experienced how food should be presented as pleasant and delightful, but not superfluous. They may overload you with the delicacies but not the price. "Buon Appetito!" and that is all they really cared about.
/ Lido /
Living by the seaside resort town, my everyday life has consisted of one regulation: I'm either at the beach, or on my way to the beach. Reviewing these photos I can still smell the saltiness, feel the coarse beneath my feet, and the sand in my hair...
/ Venetian Palette /
Never been so spellbound by bright and vivd colors until I step foot into this town. My emotional needs have been fully subdued by the conscious effort of the artifacts here.
On our last transitional flight from Paris to Venice, a lady who sat at the front row of us asked Massimo whether this is my first time visiting Venice. After she received 'yes' as the answer, she smiled and said, 'well, that's an easy-win for you right?' to him, and we all laughed. That's right, Venice is a magical city. She takes your heart away so effortlessly that you don't even feel the pain. Same as all the people, the architecture, and the air here, so natural and kind-seeming.
I'd dare to say, when in Italy, I experienced what does it mean to have a good life - it is when you assume nothing.
To share these sediments of my journey is not only a documentation but also a sum to what has been harboring my mind. When something bad happens, there’s no point in wishing it hadn't happened. I must do what my conscience told me. All the decisions I made are bravely borne and I have to be unapologetic for it, even though it may break some others heart.
We all have different parts to play, and we must all be allowed to play them. I might sounded like I'm getting above myself by saying that but I’ll be no use to anyone if I can’t be myself. My life and my decision must be under my jurisdiction.
We all carry scars, inside or out. Whatever the decision I made was for, at lease I am matured enough to know who I am; at least I’m not fishing with no bait. (To be continued)